David Cameron

This man is, perhaps, a little more difficult to profile. Undoubtedly he doesn't have the admiration of a large segment of the electorate, and undoubtedly he represents the rich, elite political class which has been the target of such hatred and resentment over the past few years, and yet the uncomfortable truth is that, on the matter of Britain's membership of the EU, I agree with him, and so does a large proportion of the aforementioned electorate who so despise him.

I have wondered, at times over the course of the referendum campaign and since, if was perhaps simply DC's mere involvement in the remain campaign that led to its eventual defeat. Now I'm not going to make any reference to pork, as I believe that joke has worn so thin I could read the leave campaign's small print through it. However, it is important to ask ourselves why this man failed so drastically to convince voters of the EU's many benefits, when all he did was tell the truth and make well reasoned arguments. I have listened to the sweaty, red-faced penny grabber through the whole debate and in honesty, I have rarely heard a politician speak with such rationality, objectivity and sheer belief in what he is saying. That's not to say I didn't spend many hours shouting at the radio whenever he was on it, but I truly believed he had no further motive than keeping the UK in the EU, and possibly lining himself up for a decent job afterwards, you know, possibly something in the Middle East. Oil, or something to do with military technology.

Yet this belief in the man's authenticity shakes me to my very core. It's completely unreasonable, with my assessment of the world, to accept that a high ranking politician such as Cameron didn't have a shadowy ulterior motive.

But then, perhaps he did. A theory has emerged that the whole sorry affair has just been a big game between Cameron and the bumblingly believable buffoon Boris Johnson [source]. Now I'm not a fan of conspiracy theories, in fact coming from the scientific community, the moment I hear the word 'theory', I begin to get a little sceptical. Yet there is something in this, something intangible which makes me lean towards it, out of hope, perhaps, rather than any belief in its veracity. Perhaps it's my general suspicion of those in authority, or perhaps its my desperation for some glimmer of hope in this, one of the darker moments in my political life. Or, perhaps, there's just a little tiny grain of truth in it.

Either way, what's certain is that DC's successor has an awful shitstorm to deal with, whilst David and Samantha while away the rest of their days on an island somewhere, chuckling together about all the silly, poor bastards they've left behind at home.